Author:clouding_over 
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Characters: Chuck/Blair.
Rating: U
Word Count : +/- 1000
Setting: 3x05 'Rufus Getting Married'
Summary: Chuck and Blair discuss their memories of past Lilly Van der Woodsen weddings.

- - - - - - - - - - -
 
"Hi"

Blair sails into his outstretched arms, fitting perfectly and with a delighted little grin on her face.

"Hope that smile has nothing to do with my new step-step-brother Blair," Chuck teases, inclining his head to his newly acquired and severely unwanted sibling.

"Don't make me want to hurl Chuck, I am actually quite enjoying this wedding."

They twirl contentedly around the Humphreys loft, passing old friends and new family members. Lilly and Rufus are clutching eachother, completely at ease, together at last. The younger couple smile at them, the love of the newly weds is infectious.

"I must admit, I do enjoy a good Lilly Van der Woodsen wedding. But I'm hoping this is the last one we will be called on to attend."

Blair looks at him quickly, knowing that the words are sincere. She sees an image of him, broken and distraught at his father's funeral. His words to Dan come screaming back to her; "My father is dead because of your father". But then she looks again at her Chuck, smiling, at ease, and genuinely happy for Lilly and Rufus. She decides to erase the old image and replace it with the perfect picture in front of her.

"Well I won't miss having to save them all from chaos!"

He rolls his eyes pointedly and says "You love the drama really Blair."

"Chuck, five times round and it's actually getting a little exhausting!"

"Do you remember the first time?"

He looks at her devilishly, the light flashing brightly in his eyes. The double meaning isn't lost on her, and she feels her stomach do that stupid fluttering thing it always does when she thinks of his touch. But like hell would she let him know he'd flustered her.

"How can I not Bass! You stamped all over my satin shoes with that pathetic attempt at dancing, and then ruined my dress!"

Chuck pulls her closer, almost threateningly, as if to repeat his actions, but instead he just whispers calmly,
"Blair you called me a flat-footed, dim-witted, Barney-the-dinosaur-impersonating loser!"

She smirks at her own wit; even at five she'd been good.

"Well you would insist on wearing purple all the time!"

"I was five years old!"

She matches the laughter in his eyes and says teasingly, "And your excuse now is...."

Chuck's only response is a throaty laugh and a tug at her waist to lead them away from the main group of dancers. They begin to turn in a small square right on the edge of the dance floor. Eyes now only for eachother, lost in memories and the happiness they bring.

"Well it's not like you didn't get me back."

Her lips twitch in a half smile that she quickly tries to cover.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"...Lilly's winter wedding to Klaus"

"Oh I still recall all those amusing Santa references..."

"Still remember the little 'incident'?"

"I repeat : no idea..."

Again her lips twitch, and he sees the memory being played behind her eyes just as it his behind his own.

"Come on Waldorf, we're not 12 anymore. I always knew it was really you who put that tumbler on the edge of the table, just as Serena was passing by in her white Waldorf original."

"Maybe. Or maybe not. But if you hadn't been so lecherous as to offer S your personal assistance in cleaning up, she’d never have made such a racket!"

Chuck plants a pained expression on his face, playing the part of wronged innocent that he'd come to perfect after years of practice.

"She was distraught and clearly needed help." He says it with all the chivalry he can muster, but Blair just laughs and runs a hand along his lapel.

"Oh! And you, the constant gentleman, were the perfect kind hearted soul to aid her!"

"Naturally."

He takes her hand and lays a kiss in the open palm, like a knight off to battle. His eyes glint with mischievousness as he pulls her further from the dance floor.

Soon they're right at the edge of the room, no longer dancing but just holding eachother.

"I trust you recall our last Lilly wedding? Or do I need to remind you of how that evening went?"

He gives her a soft kiss, not the fervent kind they shared at his father's wedding but the relaxed and intimate kind they'd grown to love just as much.

"I think a play-by-play could certainly be on the agenda Bass."

She moves her hand into his hair, gently massaging his neck in the way she knows gets him all riled up. He exhales heavily then turns it into a laugh in a bid to hide his excitement.

"Wonderful. But if you don't mind, could we skip the part where Dorota walked in on us because she thought you were being assaulted?!"

"Hey she was only half wrong."

Chuck squeezes her hips playfully in response and captures her smiling lips with another kiss.

He moves his hands firmly up her back, bringing her closer still until she's caught tight against his own body.

Blair suddenly breaks the kiss and says a little breathlessly, "Bass! We're not replaying that night right here in Brooklyn!"

She looks offended by the very idea. She loves him but there are levels she won't stoop to.

"You can't blame a man for trying Blair, not tonight. You look incredible. I'm not sure if I've said it enough today"

"You haven't. But I'll forgive you. I know the importance of forgiveness, especially at weddings."

"And I know the importance of perseverance!

He quickly extracts a hand from her back, opens the door that she hadn't even noticed, and walks them both inside a darkened room, making sure to close the door firmly behind him.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Note: Not even sure where this came from, and I guess it's a little late considering we're now on 3x08, but once it got in my head it would not get out! Not sure if I like what came out but here it is.

Comments are welcome, as always, but enjoyment is most important. So I hope you all do =) Thanks for reading  xxx

Pairing/Characters: Chuck/Blair.
Set: The interim period in 1x18. Their one week of happiness.
Summary: Prompted by Chuck to Serena in 2x24

"You didn't think you were the only one who knew about the scrapbook did you?"

-------

Chuck stood at Blair's window, the faint twilight sun barely breaking through the scattered New York skyline, and the ever present hum from the sleepless city sailing up to him from the street many feet below.

"I'll be back in 5..."

That's what she'd said, and with a quick kiss had scampered off to answer her Mother's impatient calls.

Of course that had been well over half and hour ago and Chuck had long lost patience.

The tease had left him half naked on her bed with lust and expectation burning through him.

Now his fire was nothing but smoke and ash. Or at least a few dull embers. If he was honest with himself he was always just a little on fire at the thought of her, his Blair, his... girlfriend.

God that still sounded completely wrong but he didn't dwell on it, he'd promised her they'd do it right and he was going to try. He didn't feel he could do anything else.

She was worth it and he'd never stopped caring for her.
Not even when he'd seen her sneak from cotillion, arms tight around his best friend. Not even when he'd thrown her away, wounded and utterly alone.

Chuck snapped his thoughts away from those horrors, turned from the window and hurled himself at her bed.

He lay spread eagled on her covers and looked up at the ceiling.

What the hell was she even doing? Chuck would have gone down ages ago to investigate but something about the tone of Eleanor's calling warned him not to.

He figured he'd much rather be up here to be the comforter (and oh how he'd comfort her) than be glared out of the apartment.

His gaze fell on her open closet, he wondered if her shoe collection really rivaled his, and then he spied his favorite Louboutin peep toes. The red of the heel glinted at him, tantalising his imagination.

As he began to drift off to a very pleasant daydream - involving the stage at Victrola, Blair, those shoes, and not much else - his eyes fell on a black tome in the corner of her closet.

Tucked away. Hidden. Almost like Blair didn't want anyone to see it.

His eyes darted to her open door, to the book, and back again.

Don't be an idiot Bass, she'll be back any second, you can have your distraction then. You don't need to go routing around in her private....

The book was in his hands before the thought process had even properly kicked in.

Sitting back on the bed, he turned it over in his hands. Deliberation still coursing through his mind.

Put it back Bass, it's just a childish scrapbook, put it...

He flipped the cover


Good old Waldorf. Months, years of prior planning, all to ensure she'd get her 'perfect' prom.

He recognised her handwriting vary from a child's to teen's to adult's. God! Just how long had she been planning this?!

He flipped through the pages. All filled with possible 'Themes', 'Dresses', 'Before' plans, 'After' plans, 'Corsage' ideas, even 'Date' ideas. Pages and pages of magazine cutouts and scraps of material meticulously collected and kept safe. 

Shock passed over his face to see his own name on the 'Date' page, but there it was, 'Charles Bass' in a tidy flourish. Third on the list too. Not bad Bass. Mercifully it wasn't struck out like most, but nor was it surrounded with pink love hearts like Nate's.

He positively scowled when he turned the page and found the 'Diet' and 'Perfect Figure' page. There was barely anything under the first heading and the latter simply had the word 'Serena'.

On the centre fold was the culmination of all her hard work.

The peacock inspired gown, the carriage, the undeniable Nate-esque drone standing at her side.

At this last image he slipped away plotting on how to make it all real for her. She'd always said prom was important to her, but he'd never realised just how much.

When he finally raised his head from the book he saw that darkness had fallen outside and  he could hear Blair's quick footsteps ascending the stairs.

He darted to the closet, deposited the scrapbook it its dark corner and emerged just as she entered the room.

"My god Chuck, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realise you were still here. I mean thank...."

He didn't let her get further than that.

Even in the dim light from the hallway he could see she was shaking and her voice was gently cracking with each word.

He enfolded her in his arms, kissed her gently and pressed his forhead against hers.

With every motion he was saying,

Forget about it. Whatever it was, forget about it. You're worth more than that.

And when she collapsed into him she was saying a silent Thank You in return.

He looked over her head, his eyes falling on her noticeboard, the light from the hall illuminating the one article he'd gladly tear from it.

"A Night With Blair Waldorf"

Blair and Nate beamed back at him, a mirror image of Blair's perfect prom scene.

Except that it hadn't been perfect for her.

"You ruined my cotillion on purpose..."

He tightened his embrace and vowed to make it up to her. He owed it to her. And she was worth it. Worth more than anything.

-------

Note: Ok so I'm really really not sure on this one. But I wrote it today after an AGE of not writing - school, moving house and numerous other distractions being my excuses! -  I also wrote this to avoid berating (and eventually killing) myself over the worst English exam ever. Ah, it's now official - Chuck Bass has saved my life! XD Anyway for these reasons comments are much love, and very appreciated.

Thanks for reading :)

Author:clouding_over 
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Characters: Chuck/Blair.
Rating: U
Word Count : 610
Summary: 'Like a ship to harbour, or maybe a moth to a flame, he'd wound up here.' Chuck's thoughts at the end of 2x13.

---------

It had taken hours for her to fall asleep, she'd watched, guarded and cradled him while he feigned sleep.
Sleep still evaded him, as it had every night since the snow flake ball, and he had no desire to talk. They wouldn't anyway, he knew that. They were beyond words.

Chuck lay on Blair's bed, feeling her arm strapped tightly around his waist like a life belt, and he could do nothing but think.

Lily's words played endlessly in his head
"he'd never have gotten in that car... don't turn away.. only chance any of us have." Even in his grief he knew she was right, he'd found his way here hadn't he?

Like a ship to harbour, or maybe a moth to a flame, he'd wound up here.

A haven or a trap, he didn't know, but she was real. There was only one real thing left to Chuck now. Everything else was dust, floating sedately out of his grasp. Ashes to ashes...

They'd been through so much over this last year and just when he thought they'd make it, fate had come crashing through his father's limo. Even her light had dimmed in the following dark days. No light house to guide him, no flame to burn him.

But today... "I wanna be there for you"... the light had turned again to his troubled sea. "I will stand by you through anything." And he knew it was true.

She was his, and with those three words he should have been hers. He was. She had to know he was. He'd come back to her. When he saw her, ethereal in her shimmering white silk dress, his lost soul had seen home. She had to know.

Chuck lay lost in these thought for what seemed like hours, days even, but eventually he heard her breath become deep and infrequent. Carefully Chuck rolled over to face her. He could just make out her face by the faint city light filtering through her thin curtains.

Her lips were parted and he could feel her breath on his neck. Her eyes were fluttering gently. the eyelashes shuddering against her bottom lids, and, Chuck's heart fell, there were tear tracks leading towards the pillow.

They were so faint in the dim light he wasn't sure if he was imagining them. But in that moment he realised that it was her who was the delicate but relentless moth.

He, of course, was the destructive flame. Hadn't he turned everything around him to dust? Everyone he knew. His temporary family, Nate, Serena. All dust. His father.

Ashes to ashes...

Blair had fought on with her own light, desperately keeping him afloat and for that he would always be hers.
But he refused to see her crumble to nothing because of him. He'd seen her tears too many times this year, but her light had always shinned behind the tears. Now he was too afraid to think she might one day burn out and be gone from him forever.

She was his last real thing, and he refused to destroy her.

Slowly he pulled himself from her grasp, went to her desk, and wrote the only thing he thought she would understand. He prayed to the God he'd long given up on that she loved him enough to save herself, and do as he told her.

He left the note in his place, then grabbed her cashmere blanket and gently covered her. He hovered over her forehead, wishing he could kiss those hateful tears away. But he didn't. Instead Chuck bass did the one thing his ex-step-mother warned him not to, he turned away.

----------

Disclaimer : The only thing I own are the mistakes!

Feedback/criticism/praise - It's all good.

Thanks for reading xx

Author:clouding_over 
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Characters: Chuck/Blair.
Rating: U
Word Count : 640
Summary: A fluffy little piece set the morning after the Van der Bass marriage.
Notes : I actually wrote this a while back, but found it and realised I hadn't posted it. It made me smile, and of course I then had to watch episode 1x18 in all its glory  =)

**********

She wakes in her bedroom, wrapped in his arms again. For a strange moment she thinks she's fallen into some weird Groundhog Day scenario.

She wonders if she gets up, hits his arm, and shoves him from her room... will the day unfold just like yesterday...today... forever?

Oh God would she turn into Bill Murray?

But then she realises a few differences between this morning and yesterday's.

For a start she's naked.

She'd never been fully naked with Chuck before.

Secondly he's naked. She playfully shifts her knee just to make sure. His wince proves her suspicions and she giggles into her silk pillows.

But now he's awake and looking straight at her. Looking at her in that way that makes her want to run and hide, and give him everything at the same time.

He smiles. He actually smiles, no smirk or devilish grin, just a genuine smile.

"Miss Waldorf," he nods his head and playfully pulls at her curls.

That's when she realises how horrific her pretty updo from the wedding must look. Though his roaming hands had managed to dislodge the bun, Dorota's tight plait was still in place and must look ridiculous.

She immediately sits up to begin undoing Dorota's masterpiece.

Chuck watches her back, she's only half a metre from him, but she feels miles away, and he's not about to lose her again.

He sits up too, slips his arms around her tiny waist, and rests his head on her shoulders.

"Bass. Not helping"

She playfully shrugs her shoulders to try and free her arms.

Disregarding her completely, he drops his head and trailes kisses along her collar bone.

"Bass... Really not helping."

She abandons her hair and strokes his instead.

It's even wilder this morning that it was yesterday, but she doesn't really mind. She has to admit he has the cutest bed head she's ever seen.

He's managed to pull her back down and is moving his kisses lower. Inbetween her breast bone and navel he manages to ask,

"What are your plans today Miss Waldorf?"

Blair contemplates saying "you" then thinks better of it. She's not ready to be the soppy romantic yet.

Then it hits her, she really does have plans today. Her eyes dart to the clock. She has plans now.

"Oh my God." she groans into her hands.

She can feel his short laugh on her hip bone. "Not God Blair, just me."

"No, Bass.. Not that.. Look. I have plans. Concerning Mothers, brunches, dresses, and not Chuck Bass between my thighs."

Where the hell did that come from?!

He looks up, obviously amused, and she takes the oppurtunity to wriggle from his grasp and dart to her bathroom.

--

When she re-emerges she looks as impecable as always, dessed (unfortunately for Chuck), poised and beautiful. He's still in her bed, tracing patterns on her sheets.

"You can't stay you know. Dorota's considerate but she doesn have to do her job sometime."

She's at her vanity, brushing her already perfectly set hair, and trying not to look at his reflection.

"I know I can't. But may I be permitted to be late to your Mother's brunch? I wouldn't want to break the habit of a lifetime."

"You're coming?" She asks it non-chalantly but inside her stomach is doing flips with her heart.

"Would you like me to?"

He seems genuine, his smile is back, but his reference to his habits has put her on edge.

She turns, uncertain about him. She decides to go with her feelings anyway.

She walks slowly to the bed, leans to him, kisses him gently on the lips, and looks straight at him.

"Yes. Please."

She's Blair Waldorf saying please to Chuck Bass.

She hopes to God today doesn't become her groundhog day, because she'd hate to do that everyday.

Maybe.

**********


I know it's completely different to the last one, so comments/feedback would be really helpfull and appreciated.

Thanks for reading xx

Title: Battle Trophies.
Author:clouding_over 
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Characters: Chuck/Blair. Blair centered.
Rating: PG
Spoilers : Up to and including (presumably) 2.12/13
Summary: Drabble that turned out for more angsty than I first intended.

There are some things a girl just doesn't cry over.

Chuck Bass is one of them.

Of his many many conquests, not one has shed a tear after he's never called back. Not one has sniffled when they saw him with another girl on his arm. Not one has cried themselves to sleep trying to block out the intoxicating memory of him.

He'd slept his was through half of New York and not one had stopped to think of him.

They'd all coveted Chuck : the devilish, flattering man who'd charmed them all the way to the elevator the following morning.

But never the scared, unloved, damaged boy - Charles Bass.

All of course, except for her.

She'd stood on a flight pad in the dead of night, willing herself not to cry over him. Telling herself, when the tears inevitably fell, that they were for Nate, for her crown, for her whole life that had fallen apart. But never for Chuck Bass.

She'd held him in their perfect week, tears silently running from her eyes into his ruffled hair and he'd woken to kiss them away. He showed her her fears of abandonment were ridiculous.

And yet, she couldn't even remember the amount of tears she's shed when those fears came true. The beautiful Tuscan hills had paled and blurred and her mini bar and basin became her only relief.

But she'd been crying for her own stupidity, and the humiliation of it all.

Certainly not for Chuck Bass!

When she'd confronted him after their separation she'd tried desperately to keep composed, but the aching in her heart rose and formed a gagging lump in her throat which led the pearly tears to stain her sun kissed cheeks. Tears for James, she told herself, tears for her own selfishness and her ever-present vulnerability.
Not for him.

She'd wanted to die that day, to scream and curse and run. Run so fast and far that he could never trap her, pull her under and suffocate her.

But she was drawn in again, like a moth to the flame. A lamb to the slaughter more like.

He'd said he wanted to wait, that maybe in the future... So she cried for the pointless hope that burnt dimly but relentlessly in the back of her mind.

And when she'd seen his own fire dampen, seen his red-rimmed, dull eyes from across the cemetery, she'd wanted to hold him. He'd held himself composed and rigid throughout the burial of his father and it had nearly crushed her.

He was lost to her now.

She'd held Serena's hand, tears brimming for the loss her friend had suffered. And for her own loss.

"I can't do this anymore. Those 3 words, they belong to you. Always to you. CB"

Her tears had smudged the letters and she dropped the note on his stripped bed. His cupboards lay bare and his suitcases were gone too.

She sat on his familiar bed and cried for him.

Blair Waldorf, who had cried over Chuck Bass more times than she'd ever admit, cried again.

Blair Waldorf: who had had to endure his scathing remarks; his betrayals; his rejections; his loss, cried for him.

Blair Waldorf, who loved him, cried for them.

Title: Insecure. Dangerous
Chapter : 5/5
Pairing/ characters : Blair, Chuck/Blair, Nate
Summary: After her father leaves Blair can't face the world, or the people she feels have abandoned her. She has no one to turn to but him.
Rating : PG 13

Past chapters
One
Two
Three
Four

----

Blair arrived with her mother promptly at 7 o clock. She'd spent the last hours in a daze as Dorota transformed her from mourning teenager to striking debutante. Now her smile was as perfectly fixed as her hair but her eyes were cold like the chilly January air outside.

The annual Polanski dinner had become one of the most important nights of the social calendar. The first gathering since the extravagance of christmas and new year, it set the standard for the coming year, and this year it seemed they were setting the standard very high.

It looked like anyone, who was anyone in New York was there, in the season's best clothes and talking of the highs and supposed lows of the perpetually high.

Blair had been attending the dinner since she was 11, but before she'd always had the comfort of Serena to laugh through it with her.

She wasn't sure how she could face the tediousness of the evening without Serena's bubbly nature with her.

She spotted Lilly across the room, saw her wave and returned a half hearted one, she saw Eric lingering behind her and decided he'd be the safest anchor.

She'd always liked Eric, he'd become a brother to her in many ways, and she guessed that her knew as many of her secrests as Serena.

He'd certainly known about Blair's visits to Dr. Sherman over the years and yet he'd never judged her and had always treated her with respect and affection.

"Hey Eric. Nice jacket." He smiled at her broadly and she guessed she'd just saved him from an arduous encounted with some old money hack or another.

"Blair, you look wonderful, as usual. There's a certain sparkle about you this evening I must say."

Blair smiled, Eric would make a certain woman feel very special in the future.

"Do you think that might have something to do with the lack of a blonde Van der Woodsen goddess by my side?" She could joke about it. But she saw in his eyes the loss that must be mirrored in hers.

"Never. Though to be honest I certainly feel taller without all that leg to compare to."

Half an hour passed, and Blair was beginning to feel a little more comfortable. Occasionally acquaintances from school wandered over to the two.

Blair's sometimes friends Kati Farkas and Isabel Coates glided over and asked Eric, pleasantly, where his sister was.

Blair pointed them in the direction of Mr Wallace 'who you've just got to talk to. you know his son's back from Yale for the week."

Kati and Iz left squeeling, all thoughts of Serena, her absence, and her lonely brother forgotten.

Though she hadn't noticed him, Chuck was standing patiently, not 10 feet away, watching her intently.

He hadn't really known what to expect when he saw her. She was, of course, calm and collected, just as she should be at such an important event, and yet there was that emptiness to her that he'd noticed the first time she came to his suite.

During their week he'd seen it slacken a little but now it was back, the dullness had returned to her eyes and it made him feel far more uncomfortable that he'd ever like to admit.

From his spot he could also see the doors of the hall and it was there that he saw Nate enter, searching wildly. Minutes later he also saw Eleanor Waldorf stride angrily from the room, with a black haired young man following her, an evil grin set on his face.

Chuck's insides fell to his knees as he saw the realisation literally wash through the surrounding party go-ers at the door.

Horrified, he saw it grow, pick up speed, spread through the crowd and he knew the wave would crash down on the now deserted Blair.

As the first whispers reached her, Blair stopped mid sentence. She couldn't take her eyes from Eric. He similarly couldn't look away from the Murdocks behind Blair, who were saying something ridiculous about her father.

Blair couldn't breath. She couldn't think. She couldn't see anymore.

Faceless people surrounded her, waited for her. She knew she should say something but she couldn't find her voice. She couldn't face them alone.

And she was alone.

Not one person she cared about was there. Serena was gone, her father was gone, Nate was nowhere to be seen and Chuck had... given up on her.

At this thought she felt her head getting lighter, the pressing crowds began to spin, and darkness was falling around her.

Out of nowhere a hand took her own and half guided, hald dragged her from the murderous crowd. She stumbled out the exit, her hair falling over her face, her hand weak in the others tight, protective grasp.

As she left the doorway, she heard the room explode behind her, but she was already gone, being dragged through empty rooms, untill suddenly the lighting changed and she was in a darkened room.

She felt a hand come down on her shoulders and found herself sitting on a silk upholstered sofa, the cool fabric calmed her and eventually, as her breathing came back to normal, she looked up.

Even in the dimness of the room she could see the anger on Chuck's face. His breathing was heavy and his hand was almost crushing hers.

"Fucking idiots. Fuck Blair, you couldn't have looked more.... Fucking parasites, feeding off you and you... you let them!"

He wasn't looking at her, and he'd spoken more to himself than to her, but then he suddenly knelt down infront of her.

He looked straight into her eyes, into her deepest pain, and he spoke right to the monster that had taken residence there.

"You're Blair Waldorf. You'll fight this. You don't let anyone walk over you. Never have, never will."

He looked at her more calmly, letting the words sink in, willing them to.

Her perfect little mouth began to quiver but her eyes stayed firm against his.

She whispered the words.

"Never have. Never will"

Chuck smiled. Not a menacing grin, not a condescending smirk but a smile.

A smile that shone through his many layers, pierced through hers and warmed her.

"Blair."

The name came from the doorway, and both Blair and Chuck's heads snapped around to see a silhouetted Nate standing awkwardly in the doorframe.

He walked slowly over to the two and sat by Blair, eyes cast down.

"Blair, I never.... I didn't..."

Chuck took his hand from Blair's and placed hers in Nate's.

He rose to his feet, patted his best friend on the back, and walked from the room.

He didn't look back. He didn't see the two lock in a tight embrace. Neither did he see Blair's eyes, full of gratitude and affection, follow his retreating back out the door.

----

and there you pretty much go. hope it was worth the (ridiculous - sorry again) wait! comments and criticism are, as always, much appreciated. got a zillion ideas so you'll hear from me again XD

Title: Insecure. Dangerous
Chapter : 4/5
Pairing/ characters : Blair, Chuck/Blair, Nate
Summary: After her father leaves Blair can't face the world, or the people she feels have abandoned her. She has no one to turn to but him.
Rating : N/A
Note : sorry again! spent the last week walking on a bunch of mountains for DofE, and all week this story was plaguing me cos i couldn't write it down anywhere!

Past chapters
One
Two
Three

----

Open to Blair, sitting on her day bed staring at a DVD in her hand on a Sunday morning.

She hadn't watched it since Serena'd dissappeared, Audrey'd been left in the rain, kissing her leading man and feeling blissfully happy.

Blair couldn't watch it.

All she can do is sit in her room, like the last 3 days and think about the train wreck that is her life now.

Hours passed. Dorota came to stand at her door for a while, guarding her, tempting her with food, pitying her.

Eventually, without really thinking about her actions, she moved to her desk and took out her writing pad and pen.

Serena is.. was the one person she could always tell everything to and it didn't matter if she never replied, or even got the letter, Blair would write to her.

She'd let all her pain slip out through the ink and mar the pristine paper.

Dear Serena,

a classic start, understated, she could keep her composure.. to begin with at least.

My world is falling apart, and you're the only one who would understand.

was that still true? could she really understand the stupid, hateful emotions that had been running through Blair since she'd ran from his suite.

But there was the main wound. That, Blair could share. That, she was beginning to comprehend.

My father left my mother for a 31 year old model. a male model.
I feel like screaming becuase I don't have anyone to talk to.

Blair's eyes wandered to her phone, her mind to the number that had become most frequent in her 'last call' lists, and then her eyes glazed over and a black limo pulls up to her apartment block, the door opens and a pale hand reaches out to pull her from the darkness.

Then the elevator pinged, and she heared her mother's condescending voice instructing Dorota and the limo fades and she's back to being Blair.

And being alone.

You're gone, my dad's gone, Nate's acting weird,

She stopped herself just before the 'and Chu..'  flows from her. He doesn't leave her mind though and the next few lines are as much to him as to her estranged best friend.

Where are you?
Why don't you call?

Her eyes flit to her phone again. Hope is for losers, she knows, but she hopes anyway.

Why did you leave without saying goodbye?

Why did I leave like that?

You're supposed to be my best friend

You're not supposed to matter to me Bass

I miss you so much

I miss you so much

Love Blair

She knows she won't send it, she won't give it to Lilly, she won't leave her room.
 
*****

Open to Chuck, lounging on his sofa in his suite, staring at his laptop on a Sunday afternoon. Gossip Girl's homepage glares back at him.

Nothing.

How can there have been nothing on the new Queen B for 3 days? No news, no sightings.

Nate'd been snapped moping around New York, looking for his recently possessed, and subsequenty lost, Serena.

But no Blair.

She'd done the unheard of thing in the UES, and dropped off the radar.

Unlike the gossips, Chuck knew (from his far superior sources) that she hadn't followed Serena's lead and left the city, she just hadn't done anything.

Chuck had of course, keeping his perfected pretence, been caught in a dozen New York bars with as many girls.

This particular role, of the filandering, wealthy, bad boy was one he was so used to playing it would take more than some messy feelings for an out-of-bounds girl to shake his facade.

But what if she suddenly wandered in to his boundaries? What if her loyal boyfriend of many years strayed? Had strayed?

Chuck's thoughts snapped back to focus, those thoughts were the kind that got a best friend in trouble.

Chuck hadn't divulged to Nate that he had witnessed the real life enactment of Nate's ultimate fantasy.

And it had left Chuck uneasy over the last few days.

It was, after all, the ultimate leverage but Chuck could hardly use it against his best friend. not even if the result was Blair standing obscenly close to him, with her sad, mischevious, beautiful face leaning in to his.

His eyes focussed, and fell to his phone.

He sighed and reached out for it, before dialling the one person that could resolve this whole mess.

If only that person would wake up and see the broken beauty infront of him.

****
Open to Nate.

Sitting on a bench in Central Park, Serena's troubled spot, yearning she might come and tell him he was for her.

The last few weeks had been unbearable without her. She'd ran from him.

From his love that he'd offered to her without restraint or reservation.

He hadn't been able to face Blair, he'd wanted to tell her so many times. In the last week alone he'd rang her a dozen time with the intention of ending it all but everytime he'd lost his nerve. And she'd seemed oblivious to it all anyway. To his faltering 'neverminds' and 'it doesn't matters'.

Her life was so perfect, so protected, it almost scared him.

Nate looked down at his phone. nothing. no Serena.

As if it knew he'd wanted it to the phone began to ring, but it wasn't Serena's caller i.d that flashed on the screen.

Chuck

When had he last spoken to Chuck? He'd been distant recently, not that Nate had really cared.

"Chuck! How are you man?" His fake enthusiasm sounded sinister in the quietness around him.

"Worried Nathaniel."

"Of what? Find an unused condom in your apartment?" Nate heard a chuckle over the line

"Never going to happen man. No Nathaniel, I'm worried for you."

At this Nate had to breath, very deeply and evenly to control the fear that had risen in him.

"Why, Chuck?"

"Well I've noticed a... distance growing between the lovely Miss Waldorf and yourself of late. Girl didn't get tired of you did she?"

Chuck only just managed to surpress the pleading tone in his voice.

"What? That's why you're 'worried'? Because Blair's having her own issues and hasn't found time for little ol' me?"

Having her own issues didn't nearly cover it, and Chuck's free hand clenched to form a fist that would have turned white had he not governed enough control.

"Nathaniel, I'm not going to let you waste the benefits of Blair Waldorf. Not after all the time and effort you've put in."

Time spent for the most part with Serena too, Chuck thought, but he knew better than to mention the blonde.

"Ah, as caring and righteous as ever Chuck." He really doesn't think of anything else, thought Nate. A pool shallow enough to paddle in, that was Chuck.

"Hey, just thinking of you man. Look the Polanski dinner is tonight. Blair will be there. Show your face for once. Seal that long strived for deal already!"

Did Chuck really believe that Blair was what he needed now?, Nate wondered, or was he just as clueless as everyone else?

Maybe some boring normalcy was a good idea, a routine, a role to play.

Nate sighed.

Chuck always won in the end.

"Fine. Send your car"

He hit the end call button and rose from the bench. He took a last desperate glance around before heading off into the city.
*
Chuck threw his phone across his room, it flew into a curtain and dropped to the floor with a dull thud.
*
Blair stowed the letter at the back of her drawer. Dorota repeating Eleanor's insistance that Blair get ready straight away. That the Polanski dinner couldn't be missed. And that Blair would wear the blue chanel, not the white.

----

Title: Insecure. Dangerous
Chapter : 3/5
Pairing/ characters : Blair, Chuck/Blair
Summary: After her father leaves Blair can't face the world, or the people she feels have abandoned her. She has no one to turn to but him.
Rating : N/A
Note : Woah?! where did the days go? Really Sorry I havn't posted, I was on 'holiday' (I went to 'camp'.. they made me work, looking after snotty children who have made me ill! =( ) all last week and have been trying to recover since then! anyway here's chapter 3, and you may have noticed i've put a limit on myself now, of 5 chapters, promise those will be up soon =)

Just if you need a reminder
Chapter 1
Chapter 2

----

The next few days were spent lurking on street corners in Chuck's limo, staking out shops and slyly ducking into Manhattan's pristine 'alleyways'.

Everytime Blair paused to think about what she was doing, she felt like an idiot.

Like a 10 year old playing hide and seek with an uninterested grown up, who didn't really care where she hid.
She couldn't linger on thoughts of uncaring grownups for too long, her heart would begin to stir from its Bass induced stupor.

She had to admit he was playing his part admirably. He'd kept her busy with his (not at all subtle, but needed) stalking.

Because of course, he being Chuck Bass, he'd had no idea what his last 'conquest' was like outside his perverted bed and mind, and so Blair had had to suffer the indignity of entering shops and bars she'd never be caught dead in on a normal day.

But that was the beauty of it all.

Days with Chuck weren't normal.

They lost their structure somehow; days were divided into languid hours of plotting in his suite and the aforementioned childish pursuit of their hapless victim.

Everything outside of that was a blur. Blair lived her life in a sort of hazy watercolour, until the moment when the vibrant palette of Chuck Bass washed over her and smothered her with the energy she craved.

Before Blair knew it it'd been a week since D-Day, or more precisely Non D-Day, and if anyone mentioned Blair's father to her mother they got the fleeting reply of

"Some business trip somewhere, Prague. Or was it Portugal? I never know."

And then she'd flitter off to attend to her constant stream of guests and there'd be more tears and more aerobics in the morning.

For the first time in her life Blair saw her mother as someone... undignified.

It tortured Blair almost as much as the silence of her apartment, and was the reason she was now dawdling at Chuck's door trying to find an excuse to stay.

He'd said if she ever needed somewhere to 'hang' she should 'make herself comfortable' but Blair never took up on the offer, always wary of just how comfortable he expected her to get. But tonight she couldn't face the lonely car ride home or the darkness she'd face once she left his car, the last trace of him.

"I hate this waiting game Bass" She had her hand on the door handle, but she couldn't even turn it. When had she become so weak?

"Blair, we decided, we needed a public display. 'Social destruction' remember. And next week...

"I know. I know. It's perfect. I just wish we could finish this." She'd crossed the room and was leaning by the bar.

He let the comment pass, he wasn't even sure if she'd meant it harshly, though she probably had.

"Oh Blair, you're so frustrated and it's just building up in you. It's not good for you, you know? You could do with some assistance to relieve all that... tension." He'd gone down their now well-trodden path of flirtatious banter and was now eyeing her unreservedly.

Their week together had been full of conversations like the one they could feel unfolding. It had helped in the times of awkwardness when they feared they'd dug too deep into the cavernous mines of each other's feelings and pain.

"And naturally you'd be the first to offer such ... aid "

"Well you'd want someone experienced in this field"

"And what a vast and mighty field of experience you've cultivated." She was standing over him now, with her arms crossed over her tight red jacket.

God, she was so close. He could grab her now and she couldn't even begin to struggle.
 
Chuck dispelled the thought. This wasn't how they played. They'd play until Blair felt she could leave with sufficient lecherous remarks to comfort her in her darkness.

He'd take her to the edge, pass her a torch and set her off with enough distractions to last until they met again. But he'd never enter the darkness. He didn't think he could. Those spurious feeling of lust he had for her, he could handle those. But he feared, if he entered her darkness, held her hand, and walked her from it.. well he'd never be able to let go of that hand. He'd never want to.

He held up his own hands defensively

"All work and all Play. A natural gift should never be squandered. Passed over for a less rewarding skill."

Blair raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"Such a shame too, when you seem quite talented across the board.  Being a manipulative bitch for instance, you excel in."

He ducked his head respectfully

"I'm honoured to have be taught by the great master herself recently."

"Glad I could be of service." Blair's nose wrinkled. She was narked, all the better for him.

"Ah but you could service me so much more. I've noticed, by the way, that your charity work has fallen behind somewhat recently. Shocking really, when you've had a such lost, misguided soul right in front of you. I could help you fill your quota."

"Bass, you're not going to fill up anything of mine."

She took a step towards the door. It really was late and Blair feared if she stayed any longer their banter would smother her and she'd fall.

Before she'd reached the end of the couch however, he'd caught her arm.

He turned her round to face him, just like in the old movies, and for a second Blair could hear the dramatic music in the background, building to its crescendo.

But then he was Chuck again.

And she was Blair.

And they'd crossed their unofficial, but mutually understood, line of 'no touching'

He was so close. She could feel his breath on her hair, smell his layered scent, and see nothing but his confused and conflicted eyes. She could only manage one word, and as soon as it left her lips she wished it hadn't.

"Nate"

His eyes cleared, his conflict gone in a second, but something immediately took its place. He looked away, the new emotion guarded from Blair's inquisitive stare.

Chuck repeated his best friend's name.

The word hung there, between them, an almost tangible barrier. For a second they both felt his presence there, guarding them from each other.

Without another word, Blair left. She fled from one impossible situation to another.

And Chuck was left alone, but for the self-loathing that danced cruelly in front of his eyes.

----

comments? you know you love to leave them... i know i love it when you do =) 

Title: Insecure. Dangerous
Chapter : 2/?
Pairing/ characters : Blair, Chuck/Blair
Summary: After her father leaves Blair can't face the world, or the people she feels have abandoned her. She has no one to turn to but him.
Rating : PG - for language, fairly mild (a bit of name calling really) but just incase you don't wish to read that

------

Blair hit the call button.

“Waldorf?” his voice was like white noise to Blair, irritating and calming at the same time. A voice with layers, hidden layers, ever changing. A mystery to Blair, who knows it all.

“Bass. You don't have plans today I take it. Delinquents never do.” Antagonistic, controlling. Blair needed this.

“Well not compared to you socialites, with such Interesting lives.”

He knew. She didn't know how, but he knew. There was something in his voice, she thought she could hear the smirk.

But she needed this.

“We also do a lot for charity, which is why I'm calling. You'll come out with me today.”

“Sorry, who's the charity case here? aren't you begging me?”

“I will never beg you, Chuck Bass.” she paused, better set the record straight right now. “Not for Anything”

He sniggered, he didn't believe her, the obnoxious man-whore.

“Whatever princess, I'm busy”

“Bass. you're not blowing me off. I'm coming”

Blair took a double take. To Chuck Bass that last statement was practically a free pass to Blair's bed. She could hear him chortling and knew he thought he'd been right all along. Blair grimaced.

“Oh how i wish you would miss Waldorf”

“Then it's settled. Don't try to sneak out on me Bass” She ended the call before he could protest and hailed for a taxi.

Had she just been flirting with Chuck Bass? She must have hit rock bottom. Was this really even such a good idea, surely she could find someone else to control. For a second Blair considered turning back, going back to her mother and the emptiness. It was a short deliberation and 10 minutes later she was knocking on Chuck's door.

----

He opened, on her third knock.

The first thing she noticed was his outfit. To say Chuck Bass had eccentric taste was a major understatement. It looked like a fairy on some of Chuck's drugs had been the outfit designer for today. The heavy silence was almost as unbearable as his shoes.

She stalked across the threshold and into the room, calling behind her

“So what was so engrossing, or just plain gross, that you nearly missed out on my company?”

His room smelt of smoke, cologne and something deeper. More layers.

He'd followed her into the room and was leaning at the bar watching her. In his room he looked more, defenceless somehow, too relaxed. Blair didn't want to think about just how relaxed he became in this room. But she did wonder if she look as weak in her own surroundings, was that why her mother had managed to groom her so well?

“If you must know, I was destroying a reputation”

His words shocked Blair, but only because he'd said them so calmly. Whenever Blair was plotting someone's downfall, the excitement over-took her. She became totally focussed on causing as much trouble as possible (with minimum repercussions for herself of course).
It was only after, when she was lying in her bed thinking about the fallen, shamed face of her victim that she felt calm. She hoped she hadn't missed the fun.

She sat on his couch, crossed her legs and set her devilish smile.

“What are we talking about here Bass, minor slut scandal or something bigger?”

She saw his smile change to match hers.

“Just a certain bitch who thinks daddy's money allows her to share an...unfair account of our dealings”

A bruised ego didn't suit Chuck Bass well, but he was willing to share with Blair and at the moment she wasn't going to complain.
Because, of course, this was what she'd needed. a distraction from her own broken world. he knew why she was there, knew she was using him, but he hadn't thrown her out on her ass. he didn't even seem to resent her for it. did this happen all the time for him? his many many girls, were they only distractions too?

After all he was living in a hotel. Granted, a 5 star luxury hotel, but there were some things room service couldn't provide, no matter how good.

Like guidance, compassion, care. they couldn't be his parents.

He had no one too.

Blair remembered him explaining to Nate why he'd moved in. Of course there'd been the lecherous comments, but then he'd said he was there for his father. It was common knowledge that Bart Bass was looking to extent his empire, and like every parent on the EUS that seemed to entail using your child.

When Chuck had explained this to Nate, Blair'd noticed something in his voice. A very deep, very guarded layer.

She didn't dare say anything for a second, her mind was working at 100 miles an hour, and it all led to conclusions about Chuck Bass that conjured the wrong kind of feelings for the ass.

And all the while Chuck watched her. He'd been startled to see her caller i.d on his phone, and plain scared when he saw her at his door, because there was something not right about her. He'd been shaken by how... absent she looked.
Still beautiful of course, but that level of perfection had been knocked more severely than he thought possible for her. Something was so obviously missing, lost inside her.

Blair finally managed to gather her thoughts.

“So your plan of attack is...?”

He gestured to his laptop, and she moved towards it. He followed her and read over her shoulder. It didn't take her long to read what was there, and when she turned around she was smiling again.

She looked at him, eyes shining with maliciousness and already planning someone else's plain, and Chuck realised that he may have just put a sticking plaster over her gaping wound.

That very thing that made her so unique, there were still remnants of it inside her.

Chuck suddenly saw that it was this that made her stand out to him from her crowd of insipid, little under-aged sluts.

It was also, scarily, the thing that made her so attractive to him.

 

 

note : comments, i have discovered, are quite lovely =) also hope i did our Chuck justice, please tell me if you disagree xx

title : Insecure. Dangerous.
pairing/characters : Blair centred. Blair/Chuck for later chapter/s **
summary: After her father leaves Blair can't face the world, or the people she feels have abandoned her. She has no one to turn to but him.
note : would really like people's opinion on this - i.e if people want more chapters. **cos i promise i intend c/b to fit in later. and yeah i know more breakfast at tiffany's but let's face it, it's a brilliant film!


Blair awoke from a dream of Breakfast at Tiffany's, the party. She was the hostess of course, Audrey Hepburn in all her glory. But she'd been the hostess to a see of unknown faces.
Not one person she cared about was there. Serena was gone, her father was gone. Nate lingered on the edges, aloof, waiting for someone else to arrive. Blair had been left alone to face the judging crowds.
As horrific as the dream had been it wasn't a patch on reality.
Try as she might blair just couldn't get yesterday's horrors from her mind. Her father had left. Left the Upper East Side, left New York, left Blair's entire world. And he hadn't even looked back to see Blair fall.
Not physically, she would never cause a scene infront of her mother's guests, never allow the world to judge her.
But inside she'd shattered. The instant the elevator doors closed she'd fallen. No one had noticed, no one had realised, but a piece of Blair Waldorf's waning innocence had died.
She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so pointless. So unwanted. She's Blair Waldorf, the world needs her. That's how she gets through the pointlessness of each day. She's made herself a world where she's counted, needed, and loved.
Serena needed her when she was in trouble. But Serena was gone.
Her father needed her to escape from her mother. But now he'd managed to escape forever.
Her mother needed her to be perfect. That's what she'd told herself everytime she'd found herself hunched over her basin.
And Nate. She told herself Nate needed her. It made things easier.
They were everything to her, so why had they left her?
'Because you arn't worth it. You arn't good enough.'
She wasn't allowed to think like that anymore. Those thoughts were the reasons why she made herself count, so she could block them out, if only for a while.
She had to get up, get out of this empty hell, wipe away the tears that had accompanied her to sleep, and just leave.
When she got downstairs, the sight of her mother on the floor, in baggy sweats, and attempting yoga all but floored her.
"Mother, Yoga went out with the Latin American corsets"
"That'd be about the same time as your father's fidelity then." Not a tear, not even a crack it seemed.
It was ridiculous how Blair could still feel attached to a man, to her daddy, who'd just turned his back on her. But she did and she couldn't help the choking sob that was rising in her. She rushed to the elevator before her mother could see her and tried to compose herself.  She would have to try and deal with her mother later, she knew she'd never be able to tackle her in the state she was in.
She hit the street, took out her phone and started scrolling through her phonebook.
Nate.
Her finger hovered over the call button.
He'd been so weird recently. What could he do? Would he do anything? For the first time, in such a very long time, she didn't think she wanted him.
All Blair knew was she needed someone, that she couldn't be alone with her thoughts. She needed someone who wouldn't ask questions, wouldn't even care really. Just someone to be there.
She scrolled up.
Chuck. She didn't really know Chuck. They were of the same circle, had the same friends. Sort of.
They had Nate at least. But that was it. Blair couldn't even remember dialling his number once, she'd never needed to.
Perfect.